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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24965440">through time and time again.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finally_Home/pseuds/cringe'>cringe (Finally_Home)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shinhwa (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Fluff, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Old Fic, Slice of Life, rare ship(?)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:55:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,926</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24965440</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finally_Home/pseuds/cringe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He doesn’t remember when he fell in love with his Hyesungie-hyung. It must have happened onstage, as he watched him sing his heart out, like he was born to be on that stage. It could have been during practice, as he helped press down on his waist with just the right amount of pressure. Or, maybe it happened long ago, way back when they still lived together, when they saw each other every single day.</p><p>He doesn’t remember - really, he doesn’t know - but it doesn’t matter anymore, not after twenty years. Shin Hyesung, Jung Pilkyo, the Little Prince. All the names he goes by, all the personalities he hides, and Lee Sunho is in love with every single one of them.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Sunho | Andy/Shin Hyesung</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Act I, Scene 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>originally posted on aff in 2018, decided to post here since i miss shinhwa and there aren't too many fics for them on here either</p><p>this is an old fic that i'm not quite so proud of and also is very cringey (hence the pseud) so please if you read this know that you are entering cringe territory</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hyesung rubs his hand absentmindedly along Andy’s thigh. “What are you playing?” he asks, peering at Andy’s phone. “Is it that game everyone’s obsessed with? The balloon-popping one?”</p><p>“It’s Candy Crush, hyung.” Andy shifts slightly, allowing Hyesung to see the screen. “And it’s old. No one plays it anymore.”</p><p>“No one other than our Lee Sunho,” Hyesung teases, tapping his fingers against Andy’s knee. “You only play the old games because you’re old yourself.”</p><p>Andy pauses the game to argue with his hyung, a retort already on the tip of his tongue, but Hyesung laughs and gets up. “Take care, hm?” he says softly, patting Andy’s cheek. Then, with a light step, he’s back to practicing, getting yelled at by Eric and Minwoo, fooling around like he didn’t just mess with Andy’s heart.</p><p>He can’t remember when it started, how it happened. He only remembers the feeling, the way his heart dropped, the twinge in his stomach, when Hyesung had smiled at him one day, eyes all crinkled up and hair plastered to his forehead.</p><p>He looked gorgeous, and a sharp pain tore through Andy’s heart. Since when had his hyung been so beautiful? Since when had he shone so brightly?</p><p>
  <em>Since when?</em>
</p><p>“Yah, Lee Sunho!”</p><p>The telltale whistle that begins Sniper fills the room, and Andy starts. He avoids Eric’s glare and scurries to his place in the back of the group. As the song starts, he can only breathe a sigh of relief that he doesn’t have to interact much with Hyesung in this song. But nonetheless, whenever Hyesung’s in front of him - which is, like, half the song - Andy can’t help but let his eyes stray to the main vocal.</p><p>There’s something in the way that he moves, the softness of his dance compared to Minwoo’s passion, Junjin’s precision, and even Andy’s own caution. Part of it might be that, yes, he can’t risk his knees, but Hyesung was never a main dancer in the first place, never needed such sharpness in his moves.</p><p>
  <em>I’m a sharpshooter, a bullseye straight to your heart, you can’t stay, ca-can’t escape from my eyes.</em>
</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Minwoo pauses the music and turns to Andy. “You’re not very focused today.”</p><p>Everyone stares at him, and Andy burns under the gazes of all his hyungs. “I’m fine. Sorry for messing up.” He dismisses the problem with a quick shake of his head. “Should we do it over?”</p><p>In the mirror, Andy sees Hyesung’s worried eyes follow his every move, every step, all the way through the song. Then, as soon as the song ends, Hyesung makes his way to Andy, resting a protective hand on his waist.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” he asks quietly, applying gentle pressure. Despite nothing being wrong today, the warmth feels good, and Andy sighs without meaning to. “See, I knew it, I knew you overworked yourself again.” He helps Andy sit down, prattling on about how he should take care of his health, how stupid Eric and Minwoo are for working him this hard, how stupid he is for working that hard, how his company can manage without him for at least one day…</p><p>“Hyung,” he sighs, placing a hand on the back of Hyesung’s knee. Hyesung stops talking. “Hyung, I’m okay. It’s not too bad.”</p><p>
  <em>Not as bad as the pain in my heart.</em>
</p><p>Hyesung’s eyebrows knit together, and he opens his mouth to say something, but Andy cuts him off, standing up. “Seriously, hyung.” He smiles and runs his fingers through Hyesung’s hair, not caring about the sweat. “Honestly, I’m more worried about your legs.” He sticks out his tongue to show that he’s teasing, and Hyesung’s eyes soften into amusement.</p><p>“You little brat!” He jabs his fingers into Andy’s ribs, lightly, just enough to make him screech in laughter but not enough to actually hurt. “You’re half the reason I hurt anyway.”</p><p>Andy doesn’t get a chance to ask why, since This Love begins to play, and Junjin drags him into place, but Hyesung’s words echo through his head throughout the entire dance.</p><p>
  <em>(You’re half the reason I hurt anyway.) I can’t get enough, can’t get off of your love. (You’re half the reason,) I’m addicted (half the reason I hurt anyway.)</em>
</p><p>The irony in that, he thinks bitterly, is that Hyesung doesn’t know how much <em>he</em> hurts <em>him</em>.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Act I, Scene 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Come on, Sunho-yah, just fulfill hyung’s one wish,” Hyesung begs over the phone. “I’m seriously alone, and you don’t want your hyung to feel lonely, do you?”</p><p>Andy leans back in his office chair, clicking his pen. “Well…” He pretends to contemplate the question for a moment. “That’s your own problem, hyung. But,” he adds quickly, hearing Hyesung’s sharp intake of breath, “I’m actually at work, so unless you come to me, I can’t go to you.”</p><p>Hyesung stays silent, and Andy gives him five seconds to respond. One, two, three…</p><p>“Well--” Hyesung begins, but Andy leans forward and knocks on his desk.</p><p>“Oops, someone’s at the door” - he acts surprised - “I better go, hyung, bye!”</p><p>He cackles for a long time after hanging up, but the growing pain in his heart forces him to stop before his laughter turns into tears.</p><p>Why him? Andy tilts his head back, letting his eyes dry. It’s not like they haven’t hung out before, just by themselves, but Hyesung usually goes to Eric or Junjin, sometimes even Dongwan. He’s never been the first choice, so how desperate must Hyesung be?</p><p>He sighs, turning to look outside the window, but it’s a bad idea. He had forgotten about the framed picture of Shinhwa on the windowsill. It’s in just the right place to catch the late morning sun, and the members seem to glow with a golden aura.</p><p>Of course it’s just an illusion, but Andy would rather believe that it’s a sign from the heavens, that Shinhwa will live on forever. But, at the same time, he would rather not focus on the way Hyesung’s shirt complements his hair, the way his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes <em>(Hyesung never really smiles for photoshoots)</em>, the way he seems to know exactly what’s going on in Andy’s heart.</p><p>And it hurts him, that he never will.</p><p>A sudden, urgent knock at his office door sends Andy into a panic. “One second!” he calls, fanning himself to hide his flushed cheeks. “Please come in!”</p><p>“Whatchu gonna do, what I gotta do, keep me up and making a cash, in flash at last.” Hyesung peeks his head in, rapping Eric’s part from T.O.P, and Andy’s hasty mask of professionality all but breaks. “See, I came to you!”</p><p>Andy covers his face with his hands, trembling. He lets out a forced laugh, but tears make their way out of his eyes. What’s going on with him? Why does even seeing Hyesung hurt so much?</p><p>“Oh god, hyung,” he manages to say, wiping his eyes as if Hyesung’s antics had been extremely funny. “Hyung, I’m trying to do work.” He even makes a huge deal of showing Hyesung his computer screen.</p><p>“I know that.” Hyesung plops himself down on the couch beneath the window. “I’ll just sit here and wait until you’re done.” He stretches, obviously enjoying the warm sunshine, and his hand hits the picture. “Oh, what’s this?”</p><p>Andy turns away from pretending to work to look at his hyung in affection. Hyesung has a gentle smile on his face as he looks over the picture. He glances up, catching Andy’s eye <em>(his heartbeat quickens)</em>, and pretends to be dissatisfied.</p><p>“Hey, what’s with this old <a href="http://i2.wp.com/www.icrt.com.tw/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Shinhwa-South-Korea-boy-band-Unchanging-Taipei-concert.jpg">picture</a>?” he demands with a pout, brandishing it in the air. Andy rolls his eyes and stands up, plucking it away. “I look ugly as fuck in it!”</p><p>“You do not.” Andy sits down beside Hyesung and puts the picture back. “You look fine, although to be fair, the glare makes us both look weird.”</p><p>“Exactly!” Hyesung leans back and studies Andy, who tries his best to do the same, but mockingly. “See, you have a very nice face,” Hyesung says, tracing Andy’s features with a hand. “First off, your eyes are bigger than mine, and your nose is very nice.” He places his fingers on Andy’s protesting lips. “No, don’t argue with me on this. Ooh, your lips are nice too. And you have muscles, and your voice is all soft, and you’re our cute little maknae.”</p><p>He leans in for a hug, but Andy puts his hand on his hyung’s face. “You’re so annoying, Andy-yah…” Hyesung hangs there, face buried in Andy’s hand, arms dangling down. “My nose is being squished,” he says nasally. “Hey, Andy, my nose is going to break.”</p><p>“Your own fault,” Andy retorts, but he takes his hand away, and Hyesung falls into his lap, nose inches away from his crotch. Andy takes in a sharp breath as Hyesung nuzzles around, trying to find a comfortable position.</p><p>“Hyung,” he whines, trying to sound normal, lightly pushing his head away. “Hyung, you’re being annoying. Why can’t you act this cute on camera?”</p><p>“Because it’s weird.” Hyesung’s voice is muffled by Andy’s pants, and he raises his head to breathe, looking imploringly into Andy’s eyes. “Then the whole world will know that I love you, and I don’t want that to happen.”</p><p>Andy scoffs, turning it into a laugh at the last second. “Hyung, you’re supposed to show the world that you love someone.” He pushes Hyesung off and crosses his legs. “Like how I bully hyungs, it’s because I love you.”</p><p>“Oh?” Hyesung suddenly sits up, reminding Andy of an overexcited puppy. “So when Andy always makes fun of me more than anyone else, it’s because he loves me the most!”</p><p>Andy rolls his eyes as Hyesung plasters himself to his arm, rubbing his cheek against the fabric of his shirt. “Are you drunk?” he asks, because it sure seems like it. “I’m going to take you home, hyung.”</p><p>“I’m not!” Hyesung insists, not budging an inch. Andy makes a face. It’s obvious that Hyesung knows that, with his waist, Andy would never be able to drag him up. “See, you’re bullying me again! You love me!”</p><p>“I love you, hyung,” Andy agrees quietly, running his fingers through Hyesung’s hair. It’s soft, dyed hazelnut brown, and Andy smiles, feeling his heart swell. “I bully you because I love you, and I never want you to leave.”</p><p>With a bit of difficulty, Hyesung lies back down on Andy’s legs. He smiles, taking Andy’s hand and lacing their fingers together. Andy’s breath hitches - <em>stop this, he does this a lot, it’s not like it’s the first time</em> - and he lets out a small breath.</p><p>“Do you really love me that much?” Hyesung asks, amused. He rubs his thumb across Andy’s hand. “Stay with me, then, Sunho.”</p><p>Sunlight falls across Hyesung’s face, and he glows. Andy swallows thickly, nodding, as the pain in his heart returns. “I’ll try, hyung,” he whispers. “As long as I’m able to, I will.”</p><p>A twinkle of mischievousness enters Hyesung’s eyes, and he sits up, still holding onto Andy. “Then let’s get lunch together!” he exclaims happily, dragging Andy out of the door. “You’ve done way too much work today!”</p><p>Andy can only laugh, feeling the warmth of his hyung’s hand in his, as Hyesung leads him to his car <em>(it’s white)</em> and puts on his own song <em>(Rocodrama)</em>. He can only giggle as Hyesung makes terrible jokes, as Hyesung taps his fingers against the steering wheel, as Hyesung orders what seems to be his usual, as Hyesung hands the menu to him, as Hyesung, as Hyesung, as Hyesung--</p><p>Andy is so in love with his Hyesungie-hyung.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>oops i'm gonna post everything in one day so i won't have to deal with anymore cringe</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Act I, Scene 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Pilkyo keeps bragging about how much you love him,” Eric complains, tying his shoelaces. “Not in a bad way, but he just won’t shut up about it. What did you do to him?”</p><p>Andy’s brain blanks out for a second. Hyesung had told people about it? Bragged, even? There’s a tight feeling in his chest, and he can’t help the small smile that forms on his lips. “I don’t know,” he answers, trying to hide his blush. “We hung out a few days ago, had lunch together.”</p><p>Eric straightens up, eyeing Andy curiously. “Huh,” he says after a while. “And you didn’t invite me.”</p><p>“We didn’t want you.” Andy’s retort comes quickly, and he sticks out his tongue. “Hyesungie-hyung’s my favorite. I’m not going to share him with you.”</p><p>“Hey, that’s not fair!” Junjin, who’s just walked in, protests with a pout. “Hyesungie-hyung’s <em>my</em> favorite too!”</p><p>Andy bounds over, punching his arm playfully. “You can’t have him! He’s mine!”</p><p>“Says who?”</p><p>They play-fight for a while, at least until Minwoo walks by and joins in. “What’s the problem?” he asks, clapping both on the shoulder. “Why don’t you tell your favorite hyung, hm?”</p><p>Junjin and Andy look at each other in surprise, and then burst out laughing. Minwoo shakes his head and chuckles, but he leaves them alone. “Kids,” he seems to say before walking away.</p><p>Finally, when Hyesung and Dongwan walk in, coffees in hand, practice begins for real, and there’s no more time to argue about who Hyesung likes better.</p><p>Except there’s always time to mull over it. Andy watches Minwoo explain - for the umpteenth time - that Hyesung’s moving in the wrong direction and smiles a bit. How many times has Andy explained this himself? Hyesung shakes his head, frustrated with himself, and Andy’s chest constricts. He shouldn’t blame himself; it’s just a mistake, one that anyone can make, one that they’ve all made before.</p><p>It’s not a big deal.</p><p>But maybe it is.</p><p>The music starts again, and Hyesung dances fabulously this time. Andy can’t help but smile, which is uncharacteristic of him in the practice room, so he quickly tamps it down.</p><p>Not before Dongwan notices, though.</p><p>“Awww, our cute little maknae is smiling for once!” he coos, slinging an arm around his shoulders. “What was it that made you so happy? Is it because you’re together with hyungs who love you?”</p><p><em>There’s only one whose love matters,</em> Andy thinks, and although it’s a bit heartless, it’s true. He could survive solely off Hyesung, off his attention, but then again, isn’t he already?</p><p>“No, it’s because no one did so badly that I had to curse at them,” he responds cheekily, as he always would. Dongwan guffaws, his laughter echoing around the room.</p><p>“And that made you happy.” His laugh lines show, and he pats Andy’s head once before withdrawing his hand. “I’ll make sure to dance terribly next time,” he promises, “just to make you mad.” He skips away with a wink, off to bother Eric or Minwoo, leaving Andy alone in the room with Junjin.</p><p>For a while, they only play on their phones, but then, out of nowhere, Junjin asks, “Do you really think Pilkyo-hyung has a favorite?”</p><p>Andy’s heart lurches, and he loses his game. “I don’t know.” He throws his phone down on the couch and stretches. “Probably not.”</p><p>Junjin casts him an odd glance. “He’s been talking about you a lot lately,” he says. “And didn’t you hang out a few days ago?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Andy shrugs nonchalantly. His heart pounds, and the room suddenly seems too hot, but he tries to stay natural. “So? Don’t you hang out with him way more than I do?”</p><p>The realization hits Andy like a truck, like a bucket of cold water, like an arrow through his heart. <em>He hangs out with Choongjae more than me. He hangs out with Eric-hyung more than me. He hangs out with anyone more than me. I was never, am never, will never be, the first choice. His first choice.</em></p><p>Junjin shakes his head, going back to his game. “Maybe.” He doesn’t sound mad, but Andy burns with shame. “I was just making an observation.” He stands up, smiling. “Get coffee with me?”</p><p>“That sounds good.” Maybe it’ll take his mind off Hyesung, and Andy follows Junjin out the door. Just as luck would have it, though, they haven’t even walked two steps before they bump into - guess who? - Hyesung.</p><p>“Sunho, Choongjae!” Hyesung perks up like a puppy, running excitedly to greet them. “Where are you going?”</p><p>“To get coffee,” Junjin answers, almost placatingly. “Does hyung want to come with us?”</p><p>Hyesung latches an arm onto each maknae <em>(Andy’s arm instinctively comes up to circle his waist)</em>. “Nope!” he responds eagerly. “I already had some.”</p><p>It must be a funny sight, Andy thinks. Junjin’s 182, Hyesung’s 179, and he’s 175. It’s like Russian stacking dolls, all in a row. Then, at the exact same time, Hyesung pipes up, “Isn’t it funny how our heights are just going down, from Choongjae to me to Sunho?”</p><p>“Hyung, that’s exactly what I was thinking!” Andy playfully bumps his hip into Hyesung. “Stop stealing my thoughts!”</p><p>“So<em>rry,</em>” Hyesung laughs, drawing Andy closer to his side. “It’s not like you said it out loud or anything, so technically, it wasn’t your idea first, but mine, since I was the one who said it first.”</p><p>“But hyung,” Junjin breaks in. “How do you know that it wasn’t my idea? I could have been thinking it way before Sunho thought of it too, and neither of you would have known.”</p><p>They continue to bicker the entire way down to the cafe, and for once, Andy’s happy. Really, truly happy, even though Choongjae’s right there and stealing attention <em>(as he always does)</em>, even though Hyesung’s clinging to his baby bird more than Sunho, but Hyesung’s <em>there</em>. He’s there, and Choongjae makes it less awkward, and Andy’s grateful.</p><p>The coffee is cold, but Hyesung hands it to him with a smile, and Andy’s entire brain melts.</p><p>Practice? What practice? Work? What work? His entire purpose in life is to make Hyesung laugh, make him smile, and as long as he can do that, Andy’s life will be fine.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Act II, Scene 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s been a few weeks since he last saw Hyesung. Andy rolls over in his bed, eyes still closed, and mentally wills - <em>wishes</em> - for Hyesung to call him. He just wants to hear his hyung’s voice, get an update from him, anything. Hyesung’s not like Dongwan; he’s not the kind to just disappear for weeks on end and then come back all refreshed, like nothing’s happened at all.</p><p>Andy knows Hyesung too well. Hyesung is lonely, and even though he pretends to hate it, he loves it when the members coddle him, call him cute. Hyesung is so awkward that he pushes away all human contact, which just makes him even more lonely.</p><p>Just then, his phone rings with a text, interrupting his thoughts, and Andy’s eyes fly open. He pushes himself up - ouch, his <em>waist</em> - and fumbles for his phone. As his eyes land on the new message, he can’t help the idiotic smile that blossoms on his face.</p><p>Just as he’d wished, it’s Hyesung, saved in his phone as ‘Idiot Jung Pilkyo’. Andy bites his lip from laughing but can’t help the little victory dance he does, right then and there, sitting in bed.</p><p>
  <em>‘wanna get lunch or smth?? im poor n dont have money ;;’</em>
</p><p><em>‘I’m not paying for you &gt;:)’</em>, Andy types back, grinning stupidly. <em>‘Drinks on me, though. We can get wasted.’</em></p><p>Immediately, Hyesung’s typing bubbles pop up, and Andy actually giggles. What the fuck? He’s turned into a moron, a twelve-year-old girl with a crush!</p><p><em>‘lee sunho just take pity on me for once :”(’</em>, Hyesung begs through text. <em>‘ive paid for u millions of times now… ur the entire reason im broke’.</em></p><p>Andy can’t help it; he laughs. It’s true, he can’t deny it, but he also knows that if he insists, Hyesung wouldn’t pressure him to pay. After all, maknae bonuses are real. However, Andy thinks back to the last time he’s paid for Hyesung - any of his hyungs, really - and finds that he can’t remember.</p><p>
  <em>‘No, it’s fine :D. I’ll pay for you this once, hyung. Don’t pick anything too expensive~’</em>
</p><p>Hyesung’s reply is immediate. <em>‘ill eat expensive shit if i want u brat ;p payback for all the times u mooched off me’.</em></p><p>Andy’s about to tease back when Hyesung says, <em>‘i need to get ready now, c u’</em>, and Andy can’t help the disappointment dragging his heart down to his stomach. Fortunately, it’s already about ten o’clock, and it won’t be long until noon. Plus, it gives him ample time to get ready - to calm his heart - before going to wherever the fuck Hyesung wants to go.</p><p>Andy peeks at his phone again. Nope, Hyesung hasn’t texted again. He sighs dramatically and finally rolls out of bed. No use looking like a mess, right?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Act II, Scene 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hyesung’s early for once, Andy notices. He hides a smile behind his hand as he walks into the cafe. Hyesung has his head down, hat pulled low over his face, and Andy can’t help laughing.</p><p>He’s had that stupid cap for well over ten years now, and no matter how much the members tease Junjin about keeping old clothes, Hyesung’s the one they really need to worry about.</p><p>“Hey, hyung.” Andy slides into the seat across the round table. “What a surprise, you’re early.”</p><p>Hyesung lets out an amused snort and takes a sip of water. “And what a surprise, you’re not late,” he teases, handing him a menu. “Order, kid. I’m starving.”</p><p>Andy’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Oh? You waited for me, hyung?” He tries to hide his burning cheeks with the menu. “I’m flattered,” he manages to say before flagging down a waiter. Fortunately, Hyesung does <em>not </em>order the most expensive thing on the menu, and Andy breathes a sigh of relief for his wallet.</p><p>“So, Sunho.” After the waiter leaves, Hyesung leans forward, and Andy panicks slightly. “What motivated you to be nice and pay today?” Hyesung props his chin on his hand and blinks cutely. “Is hyung your favorite and that’s why?”</p><p>Andy laughs awkwardly, avoiding Hyesung’s eyes. He’s pretty sure Hyesung would be able to tell if he lied, so he doesn’t. “Yeah,” he admits, flushing red again. Hyesung laughs, and Andy buries his face in his hands. “Stop itttttttttt, people will recognize us…”</p><p>“Aww, you’re so cute, Sunho,” Hyesung coos, ruffling Andy’s hair. “You’re my favorite too, you know.”</p><p>Andy hadn’t known, but Hyesung’s words make his heart leap, and he raises his head excitedly. “Wait, really?” Hyesung nods like it was obvious, but in his shock, Andy’s brain stops working, and he blurts out, “Stop lying, everyone knows you like Jin better.”</p><p>Hyesung recoils in shock. “What do you mean?” He sounds hurt, and Andy shifts uncomfortably in his seat. “Sunho, you know that’s not true.” Hyesung crosses his arms, and suddenly, a surge of anger rises in Andy’s chest. Before he knows it, something’s snapped, and he’s turned defensive, accusing, unable to stop the words tumbling out of his mouth.</p><p>“But hyung, you always hang out with him, and it’s not like the fans don’t know, and it’s fucking terrible to see everyone shipping Jinsyung and the Birds, and hell, even Ricsyung, because god knows you don’t actually act like that in real life!” Andy doesn’t know what he’s talking about anymore, but he continues to throw the words at Hyesung. “Is it so bad if I want there to be some semblance of truth out there? That you don’t just hang out with Choongjae or Eric-hyung, that you hang out with the rest of us too, that you care about both your baby birds?”</p><p>“Lee Sunho--”</p><p>Before Hyesung can say anything else, the waiter reappears, a wary look in his eyes. “Here are your orders, sirs,” the young man says carefully, placing the trays down. “One English breakfast with coffee, and one pancake platter with orange juice.” He backs away as quickly as possible, and Hyesung takes this chance to interject.</p><p>“Sunho, I don’t know why you’re so mad, but I’m sorry if it was my fault.” He pushes his food away and reaches for Andy’s hand. “Let’s talk through this, okay? I don’t want to fight with you, especially here and today.”</p><p>But Andy is too far gone. He rejects Hyesung’s advances of peace with a jerk of his head. “Hyung, you care about me too, don’t you?” he asks, almost crying. Hyesung opens his mouth, expression conflicted, but Andy goes on. “If you care so much about me, then why don’t we ever hang out on TV? Why don’t we ever interact during concerts or broadcasts? Why do you only ever talk to me when we’re alone?”</p><p>“Because I fucking love you too much!”</p><p>Hyesung explodes, and the entire restaurant freezes to look at them. Even Andy is shocked into silence. Who is this person in front of him? It’s not Hyesung. Hyesung hardly gets seriously angry, and he would never stand up so abruptly, never accidentally knock his glass over. It shatters into a million pieces. Sparkling crystal shards scatter, and orange juice spills all over the floor, but both Hyesung and Andy can only stare at the mess.</p><p>Orange - like them, like their friendship, their brotherhood - broken, just like this? The food lies untouched on the table, and Hyesung bows ninety degrees, to the other customers, to the staff, and hurriedly helps clean up. It was a hidden camera prank, he explains in a flat-out lie, as Andy joins the clean-up crew. We didn’t think this through very well, we’re so, so sorry.</p><p>Then, suddenly, Hyesung’s grip is vice-like on Andy’s arm, dragging him out of the restaurant and into Hyesung’s car.</p><p>“What the actual fuck?” he snarls, starting the engine with a sharp twist of the key. “Why did you have to go bring up something like that, and in public? Lee Sunho, you haven’t been an idol for twenty years for nothing.”</p><p>Andy feels small, faces the window, curls into himself. “I’m sorry, hyung,” he says softly, but Hyesung is too angry to just let the matter go.</p><p>“No, tell me,” he demands, stopping at a red light. “Tell me what the fuck I’ve been doing wrong, huh? What, no words to say now?”</p><p>Hyesung’s face is contorted in anger, and Andy is scared. Scared, afraid, terrified that Hyesung might resort to violent methods, that Hyesung might hate him forever, that Hyesung might…</p><p>Leave.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he keeps repeating, pressing his fingers over his eyes. “I-I don’t know what I was saying, can we just--”</p><p>“Let this go?” Sometimes, Andy wishes Hyesung didn’t know him so well. “Sunho, you embarrassed the entire group back there. I can’t just let this go.” He glances over, and Andy can read the conflict in his anger. “I just want you to tell me what I’ve done wrong, why you’re mad at me, so I can improve.”</p><p>Andy can only shake his head, and Hyesung doesn’t press. They don’t speak for the rest of the ride, even when Hyesung pulls up in front of Andy’s apartment building. They stay silent, even when Andy opens the door and steps out, even when Hyesung rolls down the window, leans an arm out, hesitates, and ultimately backs away.</p><p>They don’t speak for a while.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i wrote this right before kmlt comeback lol...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Act II, Scene 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Yo, what’s wrong with Pilkyo?” Eric asks Minwoo. “He’s been more pissy than usual.”</p><p>Minwoo shrugs, being careful not to let anyone hear his reply. “Maybe he’s got a girl?” he suggests conspiratorially, and Eric suddenly lets out a laugh.</p><p>“Impossible.” They finish packing up and head off. From the other side of the practice room, Andy can only watch as Eric slings an arm around Hyesung, who throws it off angrily before stalking away.</p><p>The comment about the girlfriend hurt. What hurts even more was what Hyesung had said two days ago. <em>‘Because I fucking love you too much!’</em></p><p>What the fuck had he even meant? Andy had reflected upon his actions, burying himself in the comfort of his bed, and realized that he had let himself run out of control. He probably should have sent Hyesung an apology text, but that would have meant having to explain himself, which he really didn’t want to do.</p><p>How does he tell his hyung, his best friend of twenty years, that he’s desperately in love with him?</p><p>The answer: he doesn’t.</p><p>Andy can only watch, painfully, as he chooses to hang out with Junjin, his other best friend, the one the fans always ship him with, and laugh like there’s nothing wrong in the world, like he doesn’t give a single fuck about anything.</p><p>But Andy does. He gives way too many fucks, cares about way too much, including those he shouldn’t care about. Does that include Hyesung? Yes, of course. Does he regret it? Yes, of course.</p><p>But no.</p><p>No, he doesn’t.</p><p>Andy doesn’t regret loving Hyesung. He only regrets that Hyesung doesn’t love him back.</p><p>So he stands up, leaves the practice room, and calls up Dongwan to go eat with him.</p><p>***</p><p>“Someone’s moody today.”</p><p>Andy doesn’t even bother to answer Dongwan’s good-natured jab, choosing to focus on his noodles instead. Evidently unsurprised, Dongwan lets out a soft snort and reaches over to tap Andy’s head.</p><p>“Hellooooo,” he calls. “I’m talking to you, Sunho.”</p><p>“I know.” If Andy’s short reply bothers him, Dongwan doesn’t show it. He smiles brightly at the acknowledgement and takes a sip of beer. They sit in silence for a while, eating and drinking, until Andy finally stands up to pay.</p><p>“Wait, wait, wait, what are you doing?” Dongwan leaps to his feet, arms outstretched. “I can’t let our cute little maknae pay when he’s having a bad day, can I?” He dashes away. “Just stay here, Andy, and I’ll be right back!”</p><p>Admittedly, Andy’s a bit taken aback. Dongwan never pays if he can help it. Must his misery be so evident? Utterly defeated, Andy sits back down and waits for his hyung to come back. When he does return, Andy pours him a shot of beer as a silent thanks.</p><p>“What’s been bothering you lately, hm?” Dongwan doesn’t drink the beer, instead leaning against the table. “It’s really affecting the group mood, you know, and I thought we didn’t hide secrets between us.”</p><p>“Why don’t you go ask Hyesung-hyung?” Andy mutters, taking Dongwan’s beer for himself. He throws the shot back, and Dongwan’s eyebrows rise into his bangs.</p><p>“What’s Hyesungie got to do with it?” It’s evident by his tone that Dongwan is curious now, wanting to find out more about the conflict than to help Andy. “Did he yell at you? I can go beat him up if you want.”</p><p>Despite the heaviness in his heart, Dongwan’s words draw a chuckle from Andy. He can already imagine the shock on Hyesung’s face. “Nah,” he answers with a sigh. “Hyesung-hyung will end up destroying you.”</p><p>“So what’s <em>wrong</em>?” Dongwan persists, and Andy knows that he’s not going to give up. His best bet to get out of a counseling session is to either get Dongwan drunk, or get drunk himself. Taking into account his current situation, neither is a particularly good option.</p><p>“It’s just a stupid fight we had.” Andy eyes his glass with great interest, trying to keep his cool. “We’ll get over it.”</p><p>“Hmm.” Dongwan leans back in his seat, tracing the pattern of the tablecloth. “Well, you know, I asked Hyesung about it a couple of days ago, when we drank together” - <em>wait, they drank together? The night we fought?</em> - “and he babbled something about liking Jinnie better. You, him, and Jinnie?” Dongwan wiggles his eyebrows. “Are the fans’ dreams coming true? You’re all in a threesome?”</p><p><em>Oh my god.</em> Andy cannot <em>believe</em> this hyung. Jokes aside, though, it’s almost satisfactory to learn that their fight affected Hyesung as much as it did him, but at the same time, it also hurts, that instead of talking it out, Hyesung had gone to Dongwan.</p><p><em>But whose fault is that, you little asshole?</em> “I got mad that he never hangs out with me on broadcasts.” Before he realizes, Andy’s pouring the entire story out. “The fans are all Ricsyung and Jinsyung, but they never seem to remember that I’m a baby bird too, that Hyesung-hyung loves me the best, and it’s never been about Choongjae, and I’m so fucking selfish but--”</p><p>“Okay, stop.” Dongwan holds up his hands in surrender. “Back up. So, you think that Hyesung prefers Jinnie over you.” Andy nods miserably. “And… you went and yelled at him about it.”</p><p>“In public. At a brunch place.”</p><p>Dongwan bursts out laughing, and Andy glares at him. “Okay, okay, sorry.” He attempts to hide a lingering smile. “So you fought with him in a brunch place, and I’m assuming you didn’t explain the situation?”</p><p>Andy shakes his head, also miserably, and Dongwan takes a deep breath. “You really need to,” he says, as seriously as he can. “Sunho, it’s bad if you keep it in. Even if it’s embarrassing to admit, you need to talk it out with him.”</p><p>“He hates me now,” Andy grumbles, putting his face on the table. “He’s ignored me for two entire days.”</p><p>Dongwan can’t manage to hold in his laugh, and Andy can’t help the throbbing pain in his heart.</p><p>“You’ll be okay,” Dongwan promises, ruffling his hair. “Don’t worry, I’ll talk to him for you.”</p><p>Usually, Andy would object, preferring to settle matters himself, but today, he just doesn’t have the energy to say anything. Dongwan hums, taking his silence as an affirmative, and goes, leaving Andy alone with his thoughts.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i wrote dongwan because i felt like he was neglected lol</p><p>i also wonder if the members get used to calling each other by stagenames? because they roll off the tongue easier than their real names do (at least to me lol)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Act III, Scene 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Orange peels strewn everywhere, an overly-enthusiastic presence staring right at him, TV blaring some crude comedy show… yep, Junjin is in his house.</p><p>“What are you doing here?” Hyesung asks not-so-nicely, throwing down his bag. “Who told you the passcode? I’m going to murder Eric.”</p><p>Junjin swallows his last bite of orange and scrambles up. “Actually, it was Minwoo-hyung, but” - he hastily continues, as Hyesung’s face darkens further - “to be fair, I harassed him. Anyway, we’re all pretty worried about you.” He grabs Hyesung’s arm and forces him to sit down on the couch. “You’ve been acting really weird lately.”</p><p>“How weird?” Hyesung refuses to meet his eyes, pouring himself a cup of water. “Life’s stressful, Choongjae. It’s not like you don’t know.”</p><p>Junjin doesn’t say anything, and the comedy shows blasts canned laughter. Hyesung reaches for the remote and turns the TV off. The following silence is oppressive, and Hyesung hopes that - knowing his dongsaeng - Junjin will break under the pressure.</p><p>Sure enough, Junjin keeps fidgeting, peeking at Hyesung from time to time, playing with his discarded orange peels. Finally, he clears his throat awkwardly. “Um, hyung…”</p><p>“Yes?” Hyesung doesn’t have the energy to be nice today. “What is it, Choongjae? Do you need to tell me something?”</p><p>Junjin fidgets some more, tearing apart his orange peels, and the smell of citrus invades Hyesung’s senses. He doesn’t like it, not right now. “What’s going on between you and Sunho?” Junjin finally blurts out. “I-I mean, it’s not like we, uh, suspect anything, but like, Dongwan-hyung, he told me that…”</p><p>Hyesung throws the remote down, hard. The batteries pop out of the back, clattering on the floor, and Junjin jumps. “H-hyung…”</p><p>“I shouldn’t have gone to that guy!” Hyesung explodes, arms tensing up as he struggles to control himself. “I fucking knew it, should have seen it coming!”</p><p>“Hyung!” Junjin grabs Hyesung again. “Calm down, Dongwan-hyung just wanted to help. Apparently, Andy told him something and he wanted to talk to you, but he didn’t have time because his drama, you know, so I came <em>for</em> him, except he didn’t tell me what was wrong, and--”</p><p>“Jin. <em>Jin</em>.” Hyesung’s head hurts, and he faceplants into the couch. “Choongjae. Shut the fuck up.”</p><p>Junjin shuts up. Hyesung hears shuffling, and then, a familiar tune reverberates within the living room. He lets out a frustrated growl. It’s Hurts, and Junjin is obviously trying to guilt-trip him into talking.</p><p>“We fought, okay?” he snarls, punching the couch cushion. “We fought, and I got mad at him, and now we’re not talking anymore.” He whips around to face Junjin. “Happy now?”</p><p>Junjin hums, eyebrows knitted together. “No.” Seeing Hyesung’s expression darken, he presses on. “You really need to talk it out, you know. It hurts everyone, not just you two, and it’s just… really worrying.”</p><p>An inhuman noise rips itself out of Hyesung’s throat, and Junjin jumps again. “No, I mean it,” he reassures, carefully patting Hyesung’s back. “We can all be there, or we can set it up, or something.”</p><p>“He won’t even fucking look at me.” Hyesung sighs, suddenly tired. “I’ve lost my baby bird, just like that…”</p><p>“Well, hey, you still have me!” Kudos to Choongjae for not knowing the situation. Hyesung can only glare at him. Sure, it’s not his fault, but he’s really not helping right now. “I mean, I’m sure he’ll forgive you. We’re Shinhwa, after all.”</p><p>Shinhwa or not, Hyesung doesn’t want to confront his dongsaeng - either of them - today. He roughly drags Junjin up and pushes him out of his house, throws Junjin’s shoes out, and locks the damn door.</p><p>Not today, Satan. Not to-fucking-day.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>why tf was this so short</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Act III, Scene 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He sleeps for fifteen hours straight and spends the next day in a hazy daze. He gets about fifty calls and a hundred texts from his manager, asking why he’s not at work. He doesn’t respond to any of them, instead choosing to drown himself in soju.</p><p>Hyesung is a terrible drinker, the worst in Shinhwa, but he chugs the alcohol like it’s water. He’s blackout-drunk after only half the bottle <em>(it’s because he wants to get drunk) </em>and spends half the day looking at pictures of Shinhwa and crying.</p><p>
  <em>If forever exists, can it last forever?</em>
</p><p>At some point during his booze haze, Minwoo forces his way in, snatches the green bottles away, and slaps Hyesung right in the face. It almost sobers him up, but then another wave of alcohol makes its way to his brain, and Hyesung collapses into drunken giggles.</p><p>When he manages to wipe the tears out of his eyes, Minwoo is standing over him with a glass of water, forcing it into his hand. “Drink this,” his friend says roughly. “Damn it all, why did you drink so much? You’re going to have a splitting hangover tomorrow.”</p><p>Hyesung tries, he really does, but he ends up spilling most of the water onto himself. He’s already soaked with alcohol, though, so a bit of water doesn’t really make a difference. Minwoo groans loudly and drags Hyesung to the bathroom.</p><p>The last thing Hyesung remembers is Minwoo dumping an entire bucket of water on him, and then, suddenly, he’s lying on his bed, butt naked. His head hurts like a jackhammer going through his brain, and there’s sunshine streaming in from the window, illuminating the dancing dust particles that fall softly onto Minwoo’s hair--</p><p>Wait. Minwoo?</p><p>Hyesung blinks hard, rubs his eyes in disbelief, and looks again. Yep, that is Lee Minwoo slumped against his bed, snoring away like a baby. A very loud baby.</p><p><em>He’s going to have a really stiff neck</em>, Hyesung thinks as he (very carefully) sits up to shake his friend awake. “Hey,” he whispers, voice croaky. The vibration sends another throb of pain to his brain. “Why’d you stay?”</p><p>Slowly and with an audible crack, Minwoo straightens up, peering at Hyesung through bleary eyes. “I’m too good of a friend,” he mumbles, stretching. Hyesung can’t deny that; he doesn’t even remember how drunk he was last night, and that is never a good sign.</p><p>“Just…” Suddenly, a wave of nausea overcomes him, and he takes a deep breath. <em>Good ol’ hangovers.</em> “How drunk was I?”</p><p>At the mention of last night, Minwoo suddenly perks up like a puppy, and Hyesung has a sinking feeling that he probably babbled.</p><p>“Well…” The evil look on Minwoo’s face makes Hyesung want to puke all over him. “You told me <em>just</em> how much you loved Andy,<em> just</em> how sad your fight made you, and <em>just</em> exactly what happened--”</p><p>Hyesung lunges forward, nearly pukes, but manages to slap his hands across Minwoo’s mouth. “Fucking hell,” he growls as a screen of black passes across his eyes. His stomach lurches, and Hyesung dry-heaves. Minwoo scrambles away as Hyesung collapses, retching over the edge of the bed.</p><p>“You are an actual idiot.” Something cold touches Hyesung’s hand, and he instinctively wraps his fingers around it. The glass of ice water helps ground him, and Hyesung groans pitifully. “Jung Pilkyo, you are an <em>actual</em> idiot.”</p><p>“Thank you.” Hyesung feels tears pricking at his eyes and finds that he can’t swallow them back. He ends up spilling the water on the floor as he buries his face in the mattress and cries. Minwoo’s soft hand strokes his hair, and Hyesung loses all his self-control. He sobs to Minwoo about his feelings, about Andy, about these twenty years and the secrets and the pain. He probably did the exactly same thing last night, but it doesn’t matter because Hyesung just needs to <em>talk</em>, and Minwoo understands .</p><p>Finally, after everything has been said and done, Minwoo sighs through his nose and moves his hand down to Hyesung’s nape. “You moron,” he chides gently. “Have you not realized that he loves you too?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i'm actually in the middle of watching one of shinhwa's concert dvds rn so hahaha gotta be fast like sanic</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Act III, Scene 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>Oh, you’re my mannequin, you’re so beautiful.</em> Andy fairly glares at the backup dancers whom he’d known for years and years as they gather around Hyesung. He knows that it’s only their job, but that annoying little voice in the back of his head keeps urging him to march up there, pull them away, and scream ‘<em>GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM!!</em>’</p><p>They’re practicing for a concert, and it seems like every single member has something on his mind. Dongwan’s distant and detached, Minwoo’s face is blank, and hell, even Eric and Junjin aren’t playing around like they usually do. Hyesung looks like he wants to murder everyone, and Andy feels like strangling whoever even so much as <em>glances</em> at Hyesung.</p><p>Who had suggested Mannequin again? Andy is going to skin that person alive. He’s behind Hyesung for half the damn song, close enough to reach out and touch him, close enough to feel the heat emanating off him, yet Hyesung is so, so far away, spinning away from Andy just as he gathers up the courage to ‘provide some fanservice’.</p><p>Just like that, Mannequin ends. Andy’s waist gives a sharp throb, and he limps into the wings of the stage, waving off the worried staff. Carefully, he sits down on the floor to watch Minwoo’s solo stage. Or rather, he watches Minwoo nitpick about the lights and positioning, the sound quality and the echo. He nearly laughs out loud, choking on his water, and the coughing amplifies the pain in his waist.</p><p>He’s almost about to call someone over to help him up, but then there’s a warm hand on the curve of his spine, rubbing the pain away, and Andy lets out a borderline-pornographic moan. The other person huffs, and Andy’s blood freezes as Hyesung sits down next to him, hand still on his waist.</p><p>They don’t say anything, and Minwoo finally starts singing his song. <em>Whenever tears come, let me kiss it away, I’ll kiss your lips and hug you everyday</em>. Andy had always enjoyed Kiss It Away, but not when Hyesung is sitting right next to him, not when the tension is so thick he could cut it with a butter knife.</p><p>Finally, Hyesung coughs. “Sunho-yah,” he says, so quietly that Andy can barely hear him over the music. “I’m sorry for getting mad at you.”</p><p>“N-no, <em>I’m</em> sorry.” Hyesung’s apology comes as a shock, and Andy is suddenly stuttering out his own. “I shouldn’t have gotten mad at all, especially in public.”</p><p>Hyesung sighs through his nose, dropping his hand from Andy’s waist. He turns to watch Minwoo sing, and the blue lights make him look like the Twitter logo. Andy can’t help the idiotic laugh that bubbles up, and Hyesung turns to him, eyebrows raised.</p><p>“Oh?” He glances towards Minwoo again. “Is the song that funny?”</p><p>Still giggling, Andy shakes his head. Hyesung waits patiently, eyes soft, for him to stop laughing, and then leans in close, placing his hand on Andy’s neck.</p><p>“Lee Sunho,” he says, and Andy jolts. He tries to pull away, but Hyesung is surprisingly strong today. “I’m in love with you.” Then, quickly, Hyesung presses his lips against Andy’s and lets him go.</p><p>But he doesn’t leave, only sits there as Minwoo reaches the interlude of the song, and Andy is in shock. He brings up a trembling hand to touch his lips. Hyesung was soft, sweet, everything he could have imagined and more. He was gentle, sad and hopeful but not forceful, and Andy’s heart stutters, contracting painfully. He wants Hyesung, needs him, needs <em>more</em>, now.</p><p>He crawls into Hyesung’s lap and, before the other man can react, kisses him again. Hyesung tastes like the Sprite he had for lunch, the spice of the chili in the stir-fried rice, the musk of cigarette smoke and the mint of gum. Andy feels Hyesung smile as he pulls him closer, delving deeper, taking his breath away for good. He never wants to pull away, wants to keep kissing Hyesung until he dies, but Andy can’t breathe, and he pushes himself away with a small gasp.</p><p>“Kissing it away, huh?” Hyesung’s face is flushed red, a devilishly charming smirk on his face, and Andy’s breath comes quick and ragged, heartbeat rapid against his ribcage. “Does this mean we’re dating?”</p><p>“So fast.” Andy wraps his arms around Hyesung’s neck and rests his chin on his shoulder, reveling in his warmth. “Hyung, I want the rest of my life with you.”</p><p>Hyesung hums, nuzzling into Andy’s collarbone. “That’s fine by me,” he says with a soft laugh, just as Minwoo finishes the song. “I’m glad we figured it out.”</p><p>“Oh? Have the lovebirds finally realized their feelings for each other?” Minwoo sends Hyesung a wink and disappears down the stage steps. “That’s all fine and good, but don’t forget that there are other people around.”</p><p>Andy comes to a suddenly realization that the entire group probably knows. Hell, probably even the whole <em>company</em>. With a groan, he buries his face in Hyesung’s shoulder again. “So everyone…?”</p><p>“Everyone.”</p><p>***</p><p>“When did you realize?”</p><p>“I think it was when you left, back during Wild Eyes.” Hyesung shifts, pulling Andy closer to him. “It was going to hurt no matter who, but then it was you, and you didn’t even tell us anything. I thought we were too harsh and blamed myself for always bitching at you.”</p><p>“But that would have been the same for anyone.”</p><p>“No, but then you came back. You came <em>back</em>, and I was so fucking relieved, and there was this inexplicable urge to kiss you and hug you and hold you until eternity. I just never wanted to let you go again, ever.”</p><p>“And you never did, did you?”</p><p>Hyesung chuckles. “No, I never did, not even now. Your turn.”</p><p>Andy pauses, leaning against Hyesung. “To be honest, I don’t really know. I think it was during practice one day. You just smiled at me with your hair all wet and plastered to your forehead, and you probably looked terrible, but my heart hurt so bad because you were just so damn beautiful right then.”</p><p>“Am I not still?”</p><p>“<em>Fuck</em>, hyung, every single fucking day.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>and that's a fucking wrap thanks for reading this cringe don't forget that this is not an accurate representation of my actual writing skills lmao (or maybe it is, you don't know, i don't either)</p><p>i had to change some of the lyrics to make them fit better in english because.... i'm petty like that lol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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